So the CO bff put out on the FACE that she was prego, miscarried and then because of that they found cancer. When they went in to take out where they thought the cancer is they closed her back up immediately because it’s way worse then it was assumed.

She goes into a specialist this coming Thursday to see what can be done…hysterectomy or chemo or both.

I’m not happy how I found out…I’m upset she turned away from me because she blamed me for helping M take puppers…I’m pissed she felt she couldn’t talk to me about what she was going thru…I know friends argue and don’t get along all the time…but she was preggo and didn’t tell me…she went under the knife and didn’t tell me…I’m supposed to be her bff, future maid of honor…and she puahed me away…and I’m pissed that instead of me being able to support her and talk about things with her…our first conversation was after I found out how close to death she is…on social media.

And in that conversation we had to hash out some shit just so we could focus on her health…I know it’s not fixed…I know our friendship will never be the same…I’m hurt…and what sux is it brings back memories of M1 and what she went thru and how close this shit is to everyone and I have no control.

And I feel selfish for being upset with her because I feel petty about it…and I feel stupid…I just want my partner in crime back but she has changed and I don’t necessarily like the person she is all the time right now…but my heart and memories remember her from before.

Do I let go or hold onto something that may never come back to me…